Saturday, October 24, 2009

Dual Garbage Can Theory

Simple observation can lead to incredible discoveries. And, if you recall the scientific method from your high school science course, you may remember that observation can lead to a hypothesis, a hypothesis can lead to a theory and a theory can eventually become a law.

I am to the point in my research where I am proposing a new theory to the scientific community. The "Dual Garbage Can Theory" proposes that in a restaurant where two garbage collection bins are placed side by side near the exit, the one nearest the door is always less empty, 99% of the time.

Think about it. Next time you visit McDonald's, Wendy's, Burger King, Captain D’s, Chick-fil-A or any other fast food restaurant, when you deposit your trash, test my theory.

Are there exceptions to this rule? Of course there are. If the employees have recently emptied both trash bins, or conversely, if the employees have neglected to properly maintain the garbage collection area, the extremes will yield non typical results. But, I am certain that these anomalies can be predicted mathematically.

So, you may be wondering how knowing this theory of mine will benefit you. Well, it's quite simple really. It is knowledge that will save you time. Next time you are in a fast food restaurant, always go to the garbage can nearest the door because there will be room for your trash.

How often have you lifted the first door, only to find that it is completely full? You then lift the second door and there find room for your deposit. Each time you lift the first door may cost you five seconds of your time and possibly some level of subconscious disappointment or dissatisfaction with the effectiveness of the restaurant staff, thereby negatively affecting your psychological well being.

Over a lifetime, proper application of this theory could save you hours and maybe even days of effort (depending, of course, on how often you eat at restaurants that employ the dual garbage can model) and improve your overall quality of life since every time you go to deposit your trash, there will be room for yours. You can feel good about yourself knowing you made a wise decision based on scientific evidence.

I welcome feedback and further analysis of my theory from the Waste Management community, The American Journal of Psychiatry, Yum! Brands, Inc., the International Board of Environmental Health and Safety and any other organization that recognizes the value this research. I look forward with anticipation to the day this theory, having withstood the rigorous testing of the scientific community, will become a universally accepted law.

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